Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why would a person always be so tired?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Does Donald Trump have low self-esteem?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How much gold is there in the world? - Live Science

I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How do military families handle communication when a service member is injured overseas?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What is the hidden meaning behind 'Skibidi Ohio', and why is it trending?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I actually pay taxes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Will Miami’s latest effort at “culture change” work? - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

BYU’s Lexy Lowry destroys national record, finishes 2nd in NCAA steeplechase - Deseret News

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

The #1 Spice to Help You Poop, According to Dietitians - EatingWell

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How can someone in your family purposely try to destroy your reputation?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why are men so attracted to big breasts?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why is digital marketing important?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Prime Day is back July 8-11, with double the days and millions of deals - About Amazon

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them